Postpartum dainty figures

Recently, Bilal and I had a discussion about the subject of childbearing.  I asked him what his views were on the subject of how many children to have.  Eventually, after several questions that were essentially identical, but done from different angles, he said he would definitely like to have a "famille nombreuse" (large family).  When I probed why, he cited Psalm 127:4 (which talks about how a large family is a blessing to a man) and his love for the Touareg culture i.e. his desire not to "westernise" and turn his back on his culture by having a smaller family.  The fertility rate for Touareg women in Mali is apparently 6.6 (admittedly using out-of-date statistics).  Also, it is plain for me to see that Bilal is very fond of small children: - he is not as reticent about initiating interactions with them as he is with non-Touareg adults.  The wife of someone he is reasonably friendly with at church gave birth to a son a few weeks ago and I regularly see Bilal cradling the baby, obviously entranced.

Bilal said that he didn't want to push this on me, given that he would not be carrying the children around for 9 months each, but said he would be overjoyed if he did have a large family.  I said that although I don't yet know first-hand what stresses pregnancy puts on a woman's body, once we are married, my plan is to offer no obstruction at all to creating a large family, even if this means no sleep and working at home for a few days each month.  Why?  Because I love him so much.  He has brought me so much happiness and if children and more children will bring him enormous joy, then that's what I plan to give him.  After all, provided we are married at the time, given that he is the most attractive man I have ever seen, why would I ever have any desire resist him?  I would also enjoy a large family myself.  Visiting people from the United Kingdom have told me that they have noticed that in France, having children makes you that much more socially acceptable.  All part of impossible French perfection I suppose.  I know I am always grumbling about taxes in France, but one thing that is great about France is how the income tax brackets favour  couples with lots of children, even if I don't like the way the tax advantages diminsh steeply after the first child.  Then there are various other advantages, including the Carte Famille Nombreuse for discounts when travelling on the trains: - I don't suggest that anyone has children for the sake of financial advantages, but I think it is great that France is doing things to incentivise people to have children.

Some people might call me an enemy of feminism because I plan to give Bilal as many children as he wants and I am always preaching about the importance of having a dainty figure.  How would I respond to such suggestions of betraying feminism?  If I were a Frenchwoman with the characteristics portrayed by Zoë Williams, I would just light up another Gauloise and say, "bof", MDR.

"But aren't you bothered about your figure any more?", Bilal asked me.  I said I didn't think it was a dichotomy.  It is quite possible for a woman to have a wonderful figure very soon after giving birth or even immediately thereafter.  I recall a photo of Catherine Zeta-Jones that appeared around the time after her wedding showing how much baby weight she had lost on account of her desire to look good in her wedding dress: - unusually for a British (in this case, Welsh) woman, she had a fabulous figure in the photo.  I have no expectation of being in this situation, because neither I nor Bilal approve of fornication, so I would argue that Catherine Zeta-Jones could have saved herself the bother of crash-dieting prior to her wedding by not committing fornication, but anyway.  That example aside, I also remember the controversy over the Norwegian WAG Caroline Berg Eriksen's postpartum selfie of her figure.  What would I say in response to this controversy?  I say you go for it girl!

If you've got a lovely figure like that so soon after giving birth, show it to everyone so that women will be willing to aim high!  Why should this woman listen to the grumblings of women who are just jealous that they don't have such a wonderful postpartum figure?  This is what I would call the "crab mentality" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality): - people become jealous at the success of others and try to "pull them back down".  Of course, such wonderful postpartum figures are the norm in France.  There is the perception that a Frenchwoman is so stupid that she doesn't know that heavy drinking and smoking during pregnancy are bad for the unborn child's health, but none of this is well-founded: - in fact, heavy drinking is characteristic of a British ladette, rather than a Frenchwoman.  A pregnant Frenchwoman eats a little bit more than usual (given the need to nourish the unborn child), but her self-discipline when it comes to dainty portions means she has absolutely no weight to lose after she gives birth.  She looks with derision on Anglo-Saxon women who view pregnancy as a time to indulge themselves and then find themselves miserable when they find they have lots of surplus weight after having given birth, possibly suffering post-natal depression as a result of their weight gain, though I admit I would find it hard to avoid post-natal depression if I gained as much weight as Anglo-Saxon women do during pregnancy!  MDR!

I recall the Little Britain character Marjorie Dawes (one of the few British people with the good sense to realise the benefits of halving portions), who commented to two of the fatties at Fat Fighters who had gotten married and were expecting a baby that their decision to have a child was somewhat selfish, given that the child would be born with an addiction to food and would therefore have to go cold turkey.  As far as I know, an addiction to food is not heritable: - after all, my English-born mother was overweight before she began to spend time in France, yet here we are, both with very dainty figures.  However, if an addiction to food were heritable, I would whole-heartedly agree with Ms. Dawes' assertion that they were selfish.

In conclusion, I have absolutely no apprehension about what pregnancy will do to my impossibly dainty French figure.  I am not doing to do a Scarlett O'Hara and refuse to have any more children on account of such fears, knowing that continuing to eat dainty portions, rather than birth control, will preserve my impossibly perfect and dainty French figure.

The AGV: - a masterpiece of French engineering

As I have been keen to point out, we French are the best at pretty much everything, except perhaps low taxes and sumo wrestling, being fat ladies in circuses and gastric bypass operations (given the low amount of practice our doctors get in such matters, MDR).  Some things we are better at than others.  However, one thing we are notorious for being the best at is railway systems.

To make it clear that I am not misleading people on this point, I am not for one moment suggesting that we French were the first country in the world to have a high-speed network: - that title belongs to Japan (a country also characterised by very thin women, tee hee).  We were not even the first European nation to have a high-speed line: - that title belongs to the Italians, who inaugurate the Direttissima in 1977 (though they were bonkers enough to electrify the line at 3kV DC).  We are, unfortunately, never likely to be the European nation with the longest high-speed network in Europe (thanks to our incompetent pinko-liberal commie socialist president cutting back on high-speed line construction): - this title belongs to Spain, which is planning to open a large number of new routes next year.

However, in spite of not holding such records (though we do hold the record for the fastest speed achieved on a conventional line), we are nevertheless the best at high-speed rail networks.  It is not really about one single factor.  Rather, it is the combination of low prices, good journey times, comfort, extensiveness of destinations covered, airport connections and many other factors.

One of the great things to come out of France's railway industry is the AGV, which stands for "Automotrice à Grande Vitesse", which roughly translates as "Self-Propelled Vehicle at High-speed".

The reason for this name being used is that this is the first super high-speed train to be produced by Alstom that truly uses the EMU (electric multiple unit) configuration.  The trains produced for Eurostar are technically classed as EMUs, given that there is some traction equipment in the front and rear passenger carriages.  This is probably necessary, given the long length of the rolling stock and the small space for equipment on account of the small loading gauge: - the British are so daft when it comes to railway construction that they use loading gauges almost as small as a Frenchwoman's waistline!  Tee hee!  Anyway, up until recently, high-speed rolling stock produced by Alstom has used the locomotive configuration.  This is not to say that this is the first time such technology has been used on high-speed rolling stock: - the Japanese have used EMU configurations with the Shinkansen since they first entered service in 1964.

Another point that is fairly distinctive about France's high-speed rolling stock is its articulated nature.  Granted, France is not the only country to use high-speed articulated rolling stock.  Talgo (a Spanish rolling stock manufacturer) in particular uses articulated rolling stock: - Bilal and I travelled on such a train on the day we travelled to Seville.  That is before I mention that France's Alstom supplied Spain's first high-speed rolling stock for the opening of the Madrid-Seville line in 1992!  MDR!  This rolling stock is articulated and mostly identical in design to a French single-decker TGV, though with a few distinctions, including the white exterior and beefed-up air conditioning: - it is reasonably common for Córdoba and Seville (two cities along the route) to have temperatures exceeding 40 degrees in summer.  South Korea also uses Alstom-derived articulated rolling stock.

As far as I am aware, one of the reasons SNCF has not yet decided to purchase any AGV sets is the fact that more motors means more maintenance.  I cannot confess to having seen the numbers put together, but certainly, low costs are good, as they help reduce reliance on cars and help make the railways a mass-market solution.  Walking to the station is one of the ways in which we impossibly dainty and perfect Frenchwomen build passive exercise into our routines and I must admit, it would be a bit of a hassle to park our cars slightly further away from home, so as to build passive exercise into our routines.  I am therefore glad that we have such a great railway network.  However, there are some routes where I think AGVs could be particularly useful.  For instance, they would be very useful once the LGV Est extension to Strasbourg and the LGV Sud Europe between Tours and Bordeaux have been completed, given that the current route has several stops and most of the new route will have alignments suitable for 350km/h running. With fast services such as these, there will be more of an incentive for people to use Marne La Vallée-Chessy and Massy TGV stations, particularly given that Massy TGV will be along the future Line 18 that comprises part of the Grand Paris Express project.

Though I am a little disappointed by François Hollande's government's decision to slow down high-speed line construction, I still think we French are the best in the world when it comes to high-speed rail systems.  I love the fact that I can be in the cold Northern European climate of Lille and then 4h50m later be back in sunny Marseille.  I will also love the fact that once the link to Bordeaux is completed, I might find myself explaining to some Anglo-Saxon business contacts about how sophisticated French wines are, spontaneously hop on a train to Bordeaux, be there in just over two hours, savour the fine wines and easily get back to Paris that day if we wish.  I will also love being able to show people the proper way to do a Kouglof (not overly sweet), as well as the beautiful mixed architectural styles of Strasbourg after a train ride of just 1h50m when the second phase of the LGV Est opens.  In short, we French are the best at pretty much everything.

Stratford, an area of London that Bilal loved

I enjoy travelling with Bilal and, as can be deduced from my posts, theology is a shared interest of ours.  We were aware of a church conference taking place in London that we knew would be promoting sound theology, so we decided we would visit the conference.  Bilal and I both found the conference edifying, but there is so much to be said about it that it is probably best discussed on a blog about theology, rather than a blog about how wonderfully dainty we Frenchwomen are!  Naturally, I also decided I wanted to do some business: - given that the UK has absolutely no plans to introduce a 75% tax rate, there are far more opportunities for business than in France!  This is just about the only favourable comparison I can make with France!  MDR!One thing I often tend to do is leave Bilal to his own devices to explore while I am doing business trying to promote my fashion magazine and then travel over to where he is if he has found something that interests him.

Being a railway aficionado like my father, Bilal observes the route keenly during train journeys and he has often noticed that on the final approach to St. Pancras International, in between the two long tunnels (named London Tunnel 1 and London Tunnel 2), the Eurostar trains pass by, but never stop at, a station.  Bilal looked up this station and found out that it is called Stratford International.  During one of my business meetings, Bilal decided to Stratford International and watch the trains pass for a little while.  The British high-speed rail line (known as the Channel Tunnel Rail Link) is unusual in that the trains go very fast through city centres: - in Ashford, this is by means of a flyover and in Stratford (an area of London), this is by means of a box.

When he started to feel hungry, Bilal ventured into the adjacent Stratford Westfield shopping centre.  I had forgotten to make him something for lunch that day, given my desire to make sure he only eats high-quality food!  MDR!  Poor Bilal didn't find things very easy.  He has coeliac disease and although he is learning English, he is not particularly fluent at present.  Almost immediately upon entry to the shopping centre, there is a shop prominently selling artesan bread!  He has a long way to go when it comes to written English as well and so he struggled to understand the labels to see if food contains gluten or not: - this is very different to Spain where gluten-free foods tend to contain a label to this effect!  Eventually, after a lot of fruitless exploring, he overheard some people talking in French and decided to ask them if they could offer him some advice regarding seeking-gluten free food.  Someone then explained that British supermarkets sometimes have a "free from" section and suggested trying Marks and Spencer (middle class, but still low quality in comparison to the worst France can offer).

On the way to Marks and Spencer, he walked passed a shop called New Era that he made a mental note of.  After having bought a few items from the "free from" section of Marks and Spencer (he was feeling rather faint by this point), he walked back to the New Era store.  Surprisingly for a hip-hop person such as him, Bilal was not aware of the existence of the New Era headwear company.  Bilal was delighted to enter the door of the Stratford branch and see a whole shop filled with hip-hop baseball caps.  Bilal had great fun trying them on, but after a while, it was proving difficult to find one for his head size, so he called me on my mobile and asked for me to tell the shop assistant by phone that he wanted to know if there were some caps in his size.  The shop assistant said there were and opened some drawers containing the correct size.  Bilal had a whale of a time trying on the caps and bought several.  Unusually, he was so entranced by the variety of hip-hop baseball caps around that he didn't seem to mind the fact that  his head was uncovered in public between trying different caps on!

After buying several caps from the New Era store, Bilal started exploring the Stratford area and very quickly, he fell in love with it, as everywhere he looked, he saw people of African origin dressed up in hip-hop clothing more often than not wearing baseball caps of the style sold by New Era.  Bilal had no way of identifying who was a French speaker beforehand, so he waited for me to finish my business dealings elsewhere in the city and travel over to Stratford so that I could interpret for him.  He had a great time socialising, even though he had to conduct his conversations through me.

Again, just as with our visit to the Aylesbury estate a few months ago, my interpretation abilities were tested to the max, given the large number of hip-hop slang words used by both Bilal and the locals!  Some people were keen to learn French, but said that it didn't seem a very cool when they were taught it at school.  Bilal suggested that if anyone genuinely thought that, they should seek to learn new vocabulary using a website he is intimately familiar with called Dictionnaire De La Zone.  The locals in turn suggested that Bilal get himself acquainted with Urban Dictionary in order to familiarise himself with English-language hip-hop slang.

Apart from the New Era shop, Bilal also discovered a new chain store that interested him called Arabian Oud, which sells Arab-style perfume.  The scents reminded him of when he visited Saudi Arabia, where the population as a whole is very keen on fragrances.  Unfortunately, Bilal was performing the Hajj when he was in Saudi Arabia, in a way, this trip was part of the old man that needs to be mortified when one becomes a new creature in Christ, but he still thought it was a beautiful country and thought it was a shame that such a beautiful nation is under the yoke of Islam.  Bilal bought some spicy men's perfume and I thought it smelled absolutely divine (in the non-religious sense of the word) on him.  I respect many things Mireille Guiliano writes, but I don't agree with what she wrote about spicy fragrances not smelling good in hot weather!  Bilal was very pleased to learn that there is a branch in Paris.  In fact, I also remember one on Oxford Street that I saw on that occasion when I went to Selfridges to buy some Mariage Frères tea.

Bilal also spoke with a Muslim evangelist outside Stratford station  who happened to be from Algeria.  The Muslim evangelist made some very silly claims.  Firstly, he claimed that there is no place in the Bible where it says Jesus and God are the same person: - Bilal suggested that perhaps he was half asleep when he read John 10:30.  The Muslim evangelist then claimed that the Bible never says that Jesus is the Son of God.  Bilal then pointed to our Lord's baptism and the Transfiguration and suggested that if, as he claimed, he had genuinely read through the entire Bible and reached the conclusion that the Bible never says Jesus is the Son of God, he must have been reading it using glasses with wooden lenses.

As per custom in areas like these, Bilal and the locals parted, friends for life, with a fist bump.  Unfortunately, we hadn't left enough time for Bilal to spend more time with the locals: - we needed to get back to Marseille so that we could discharge our duties at our church in Marseille the following day, as well as doing some set up work for the various activities that take place on Sundays the day before.  I also thought it a shame I didn't have more time to explore the uncountably large number of fashion stores in Westfield Stratford.

However, on the Eurostar to Paris, Bilal announced that he had enjoyed his time in Stratford (and previously the Walworth area) that he was planning to buy properties in both these areas to add to his investment portfolio.  He is not sure if he plans to use them for short-term rentals, staying in them during holidays in London, or whether he will use them for longer-term rentals, but he will look into that in time.

Bilal and I are very different people: - he is what we French refer to as a "zoulou" (a lover of hip-hop culture) and I am obsessed with fashion and eating ever daintier portions!  MDR!  However, I really do love him and I am glad he was willing to persist in asking my father's permission to court me for several years until my father agreed.  No surprise though, given that I'm worth it!  Anyway, jokes aside, I hope he proposes soon, as he is quite rightly keeping distance between the two of us until we get married and I don't want to be in suspense much longer.