The AGV: - a masterpiece of French engineering

As I have been keen to point out, we French are the best at pretty much everything, except perhaps low taxes and sumo wrestling, being fat ladies in circuses and gastric bypass operations (given the low amount of practice our doctors get in such matters, MDR).  Some things we are better at than others.  However, one thing we are notorious for being the best at is railway systems.

To make it clear that I am not misleading people on this point, I am not for one moment suggesting that we French were the first country in the world to have a high-speed network: - that title belongs to Japan (a country also characterised by very thin women, tee hee).  We were not even the first European nation to have a high-speed line: - that title belongs to the Italians, who inaugurate the Direttissima in 1977 (though they were bonkers enough to electrify the line at 3kV DC).  We are, unfortunately, never likely to be the European nation with the longest high-speed network in Europe (thanks to our incompetent pinko-liberal commie socialist president cutting back on high-speed line construction): - this title belongs to Spain, which is planning to open a large number of new routes next year.

However, in spite of not holding such records (though we do hold the record for the fastest speed achieved on a conventional line), we are nevertheless the best at high-speed rail networks.  It is not really about one single factor.  Rather, it is the combination of low prices, good journey times, comfort, extensiveness of destinations covered, airport connections and many other factors.

One of the great things to come out of France's railway industry is the AGV, which stands for "Automotrice à Grande Vitesse", which roughly translates as "Self-Propelled Vehicle at High-speed".

The reason for this name being used is that this is the first super high-speed train to be produced by Alstom that truly uses the EMU (electric multiple unit) configuration.  The trains produced for Eurostar are technically classed as EMUs, given that there is some traction equipment in the front and rear passenger carriages.  This is probably necessary, given the long length of the rolling stock and the small space for equipment on account of the small loading gauge: - the British are so daft when it comes to railway construction that they use loading gauges almost as small as a Frenchwoman's waistline!  Tee hee!  Anyway, up until recently, high-speed rolling stock produced by Alstom has used the locomotive configuration.  This is not to say that this is the first time such technology has been used on high-speed rolling stock: - the Japanese have used EMU configurations with the Shinkansen since they first entered service in 1964.

Another point that is fairly distinctive about France's high-speed rolling stock is its articulated nature.  Granted, France is not the only country to use high-speed articulated rolling stock.  Talgo (a Spanish rolling stock manufacturer) in particular uses articulated rolling stock: - Bilal and I travelled on such a train on the day we travelled to Seville.  That is before I mention that France's Alstom supplied Spain's first high-speed rolling stock for the opening of the Madrid-Seville line in 1992!  MDR!  This rolling stock is articulated and mostly identical in design to a French single-decker TGV, though with a few distinctions, including the white exterior and beefed-up air conditioning: - it is reasonably common for Córdoba and Seville (two cities along the route) to have temperatures exceeding 40 degrees in summer.  South Korea also uses Alstom-derived articulated rolling stock.

As far as I am aware, one of the reasons SNCF has not yet decided to purchase any AGV sets is the fact that more motors means more maintenance.  I cannot confess to having seen the numbers put together, but certainly, low costs are good, as they help reduce reliance on cars and help make the railways a mass-market solution.  Walking to the station is one of the ways in which we impossibly dainty and perfect Frenchwomen build passive exercise into our routines and I must admit, it would be a bit of a hassle to park our cars slightly further away from home, so as to build passive exercise into our routines.  I am therefore glad that we have such a great railway network.  However, there are some routes where I think AGVs could be particularly useful.  For instance, they would be very useful once the LGV Est extension to Strasbourg and the LGV Sud Europe between Tours and Bordeaux have been completed, given that the current route has several stops and most of the new route will have alignments suitable for 350km/h running. With fast services such as these, there will be more of an incentive for people to use Marne La Vallée-Chessy and Massy TGV stations, particularly given that Massy TGV will be along the future Line 18 that comprises part of the Grand Paris Express project.

Though I am a little disappointed by François Hollande's government's decision to slow down high-speed line construction, I still think we French are the best in the world when it comes to high-speed rail systems.  I love the fact that I can be in the cold Northern European climate of Lille and then 4h50m later be back in sunny Marseille.  I will also love the fact that once the link to Bordeaux is completed, I might find myself explaining to some Anglo-Saxon business contacts about how sophisticated French wines are, spontaneously hop on a train to Bordeaux, be there in just over two hours, savour the fine wines and easily get back to Paris that day if we wish.  I will also love being able to show people the proper way to do a Kouglof (not overly sweet), as well as the beautiful mixed architectural styles of Strasbourg after a train ride of just 1h50m when the second phase of the LGV Est opens.  In short, we French are the best at pretty much everything.