Moving purposefully

I read an article just now about how South Korea is planning to revive its non-stop Seoul-Busan railway services (these two cities are the country's biggest).  It said that direct services had existed, but were discontinued, though they believe the economics are now different.  This got me thinking about one thing that is great about France's high-speed network: - the extensive use of non-stop or "infrequent-stop" services with great journey times.  Great journey times are fundamental to a good railway system.  The service planning that SNCF is probably the greatest thing about our high-speed network: - French train journey times are fantastic.  A Frenchwoman loves to sit back, unwind and enjoy the moment, but she manages her time efficiently and therefore does not want to uselessly spend an unduly large amount of time on trains because of ridiculous service and timetable planning: - she doesn't like to rush, but she loves to move purposefully.  She doesn't want to be stuck on a train going nowhere, whiling away the time in long dwell times at stations.  This would deduct from the time she has to shop for the latest fashions and the choicest ingredients at markets.

Apart from a Frenchwoman wanting to move purposefully, SNCF is always in a hard-slog battle to compete with air travel, which is never easy.  On some routes, it is in the lead (Paris-Marseille TGV services have an absolute majority), whereas the Paris-Orly Toulouse-Blagnac air route is the most congested in Europe.  I guess this is due to the prosperity of Toulouse, the prevalence of its aerospace industry there and the extremely long journey times (5h27m direct, 5h24m with an interchange).  When the LGV Sud-Europe Atlantique and the Toulouse branch of the GPSO (Grand Projet Ferroviaire du Sud-Ouest) are complete, journey times will be 3h14m with a stop in Bordeaux and 3h07m without, which will hopefully reduce air journeys drastically.

I know this is comparing apples and oranges, but roughly equivalent high-speed journeys in Germany for instance would take a very long time because of very generous timetabling and stopping patterns that prevent various routes from being competitive.  For instance, Hamburg Hauptbahnhof-Munich Hauptbahnhof (admittedly with a few high-speed gaps, e.g between Würzburg and Nuremberg is about 780km, but the fastest direct service is 5h38m (5h36m possible with interchange).  It stops in Hamburg-Harburg, Hannover Hauptbahnhof, Göttingen, Kassel-Wilhelmshöhe, Fulda, Würzburg, Nuremberg and Ingolstadt.  I am aware that Germany's settlement pattern is very different (lots of medium-sized cities everywhere), but they have missed several opportunities for reasonable journey times, e.g. by not building bypasses.  Apart from the Coburg bypass on the Erfurt-Nuremberg route to be opened this year, I struggle to think of high-speed bypasses in Germany where the town centre station is also served.  Given that Germans dislike anything outside the ordinary as far as punctuality goes, timetable planning often involves very generous run and station dwell times.  Probably, when they are planning timetables, they probably say, "How long does zis journey take at line speed?  Five minutes?  Give it an hour and ven it arrives on time, we will say, "Ve Germans are so efficient!""  There are plenty of stations that appear to be useless for high-speed traffic, given the low populations they serve, one example being Siegburg/Bonn station.

Austria also doesn't seem all that concerned about journey times: - whenever new railway improvements come along that should improve journey times, they always seem to slip in some more stops or journey time padding.  For instance, I cannot understand the need to stop Railjet trains in Jenbach.  Given that: -
1) Innsbruck, the major population centre, has a population of about 130,000, compared to Jenbach's 7,000
2) The Neue Unterinntalbahn (New Lower Inn Valley Railway) allows Jenbach to be bypassed at 220km/h
3) The Railjet trains, having a locomotive configuration, don't have particularly good acceleration
It therefore seems wasteful to stop trains in Jenbach.  I believe the Austrians were aiming for "1-2-3" journey times from Vienna, i.e. 1 hour to Linz, 2 hours to Salzburg and 3 hours to Munich and Innsbruck.  It is anybody's guess how this will be achieved if they are still pursuing it.  However, they will face some competition from Westbahn, which is planning to operate fast services to Salzburg (2h10m, compared to 2h22m with Railjet services), with alternate services going onward to Innsbruck (not sure of the journey times).

On the other hand, the French network has bypasses aplenty and is designed around great journey times.  Cities with high-speed bypasses where town centre through stations are served from both ends that I can think of include Douai, Arras and Lyon.  The LGV Sud-Europe Atlantique to Bordeaux will also include them at Tours (half in service, used by non-stop Bordeaux trains), Poitier and Angoulême, debatably Châtellerault as well.  Currently, there are no non-stop trains running to Marseille (seasonal, I guess), but where they exist, they have tended to offer journey times of 3h05m for the 742km journey.  Similarly, though the Paris-Bordeaux services only run on high-speed line to just beyond Tours, they offer non-stop journeys of 3h11m, which will drop to around 2h when the LGV Sud-Europe Atlantique enters service this year.  I don't quite understand the lack of a planned bypass at Bordeaux, given the need for Paris-Toulouse journey times to be competitive and a bypass for Eurostar trains not stopping at Lille Europe would be good, as the line goes round three sides of a square, but RFF has generally been enthusiastic about building bypasses.  I am loathed to speak favourably of anything British, but the Ashford bypass is a fantastic feat of engineering: - the line goes underground as it approaches the outskirts of Ashford, stays underground a little way, comes up alongside Ashford International station and runs on a flyover through Ashford, allowing trains to pass through at 300km/h.  This means I can minimise the time I spend in the unsophisticated UK, MDR!

I particularly appreciate good journey times when it is necessary to receive foreign clients at the Paris office, as well as during fashion show season (I hope Marseille becomes a fashion capital one day).  Many foreign visitors come to Paris thinking they will find a quintessentially French city with the Eiffel Tower, people eating frog legs and snails, people wearing striped jerseys and berets etc.  The Eiffel Tower is there and isn't going anywhere, but with all the immigrants and the foreign cultures they inflict upon us, Paris is definitely not a French city!  Other nearby cities, though they have immigrants, don't have them in quite such large numbers.  When they ask to see a more French city, there are several easily available options, e.g. Strasbourg (1h46m), Bordeaux (discussed above) etc.

One day, I hope people will realise the value of great journey times and their contribution to making France great.

When will the boys become (gentle)men?

From the very beginning, Bilal has been open about his desire for a large family with me.  He told me that whilst he would never force himself upon me, he will push me to agree to more children as long as the opportunity is available.  I was slightly taken aback by his honesty, but I quickly remembered that I have lots of female acquaintances who have married men who turn out not to want children (particularly if they are older and have previous marriages behind them), or they have lost their enthusiasm for more children after the arrival of the second or so.  I mentioned this to sisters-in-Christ and they expressed the view that such a desire definitely increases a man's desirability to them.  A few weeks after our son was born, Bilal raised this issue with me and said he wanted to try for our second child with no delay.  Even with our second child not yet born, he is already talking about trying for our third one.

Bilal comes from a society where life expectancy is extremely low.  According to the World Health Organisation's 2015 statistics, France's life expectancy was 82.4 years, whereas in Mali it was 58.2 years (near the bottom of the table).  The situation for the Touareg people is even worse, with Minorityrights.org saying that their life expectancy in 2013 was 48 years.  From all I have lead to believe, this situation results in the Touareg people taking the view that time is always limited for doing things in life, in particular childbearing.  There is no time for men to do things like long, extended university studies, followed by time travelling, followed by time spent drifting in one's career and finding one's feet many years later, before finally getting married in one's fourties and grudgingly having children as one's fifties approach.  Touareg men have the mentality that they won't be around long, so they have to work hard to save up to get married, get married as soon as possible and then have as many children as they possibly can in as short a period as possible.  They will typically learn to start keeping livestock at the age of three or four.  I quite like this mentality, as it means men grow up very quickly: - no Peter Pan characters there!  Death isn't a taboo theme with Bilal, as he has maintained his Touareg mentality of life being short: - he also received regular reminders when he witnessed gang shootings in La Savine.

Putting aside the issue of religion, I would seriously advise women frustrated with men who are indifferent about their female biological clocks to seriously think about a Touareg husband!  Bilal is not afraid of getting his hands dirty, putting himself in danger for others, working hard in very arduous conditions or anything like that!  I remember when we were out walking in Marseille one summer evening and he was walking a few metres behind me.  I passed some guys in their mid-30s dressed like teenagers who had set up their X-Box One on the street for some al fresco playing and were puffing away on joints.  One of them said, "That chick is hot!  I want one like that one day!"  They didn't realise Bilal is my husband and he turned round and said to them, "Man agrees: - manz wifey is well buff, innit?  Dat's why man pursued her all the way up da aisle.  Maybe you'll get one too if you do something besides playing computer games, be a man, make something of yourself and go after one?"  One of them then said, "What?  You think you're a bigger man or something?"  Bilal replied, "Yeah.  I knocked her up straight away after marrying her and then again only a few weeks after our son was born."  I was trying hard not to laugh when I heard Bilal say that. When he caught up with me, I told him it wasn't appropriate to accuse some he didn't know of being immature based on little evidence, to which Bilal said he knew them well.  Bilal has never really cared about being a gentleman and I am aware many feminists wouldn't like to be spoken about in that way, but I do because I love real men!  MDR.

In some ways, Bilal is quite feminine.  He spends more time with our son than I do, as his job has regular hours and doesn't require him to travel: - dealing with a screaming baby when at the front row of a fashion show is not easy, MDR.  Our childcare arrangements mean he could spend the evenings socialising with his "homies" if he wanted, but he has chosen not to do that: - he has told his "homies" very bluntly that he is happy to socialise with them, but they have to either visit him at home or they have to go somewhere baby-friendly.  He also found his gym wasn't very amenable to men bringing in small babies, as it wasn't the type of image they were trying to create.  He threatened to take his custom elsewhere (and with him all the women who come along to gawp at him and men who come for his advice) and they soon backed down.  A few men unfamiliar with him initially poked fun at him for bringing our son along, but that was before seeing his body in the changing rooms, MDR.

Large families used to be common in times gone by in France, though I am doubtful many French men were as open as Bilal about how conception was a boost to their egos, MDR!  The Church of Rome has had a consistent policy of opposing contraception, though its power in France has been severely curtailed ("laïcité"), particularly with the 1905 law separating church and state, long before contraceptive methods became available.  I think it is good that the Church of Rome's influence has been restricted in France, but it is a shame that a consequence of this has been people's unwillingness to have children.  Much is made of France's high fertility rate, but the reality is that it tends to be the immigrants having children.  French men don't know how to be men any more!  With the great figures we Frenchwomen have and the female-biased gender ratio, few men can justifiably claim the absence of options, particularly if they lived in nearby Vitrolles in the late 1990s.  Bilal is aware of the baby bonus that Catherine Mégret briefly introduced for children born to at least one French/EU parent.  I remember someone asking him about her, assuming that he would dislike her on account of her supposedly "xenophobic" policies.  Bilal replied, "Fam, she used to be quite fit, though not as fit as manz wifey".  MDR!

Much is made of French men being seductive, but in my view, they have become wussies over the past few decades.  Prior to my relationship with Bilal, I was often approached by men, who I am sure never bothered to call my father when I gave them his business card.  Giving them my father's business card was never intended to put them off per se, it was intended as a test of their manhood!  I love the way Bilal talks to his "homies" about his marriage to "a well buff wifey" like me as being a conquest.  He first asked for permission to court me aged 18 (he was starting university, but already had a large income from his share-trading activities), which my father declined.  Bilal made several more attempts over the next few years while I was at university and subsequently working in the fashion industry before he finally conquered my father and subsequently me.  Bilal's ignorance about how to speak about women in a gentlemanly fashion didn't help, but Daddy later came to realise that he is a man with some rough edges when his activities at church became more apparent.  Daddy tried to turn him into a gentleman during our courtship and engagement without success.

French life expectancy has increased dramatically during the past few centuries, even the past few decades and doesn't appear to be slowing down.  People had more children in times gone by because of the low expectation that they would reach adulthood, i.e. having lots in the expectation of getting lucky with a few.  As mentioned, this is part of Bilal's subconscious mentality.  It is likely that many people have no rush to get married and have children because they think they have all the time in the world.  They prolong adolescence.  It is not such a problem for men when they do this in France, given the gender ratio and the fact that they are surrounded by fabulous women, but the numbers are not really in women's favour, as discussed extensively in an article entitled "The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough".  Also, given the expectation that the man will initiate, courtships tend to be according to the man's timing.

I am hoping that our son will grow up to have my French finesse and Bilal's ruggedness.  Bilal has said he intends to take him on regular holidays to Mali to develop them as herdsmen (I didn't argue, as I support this fully, even though I know many French mothers wouldn't).  Bilal finally managed to find a farm suitable for livestock somewhere near Marseille, so that our son (and future children) will be able to practice even when he isn't in Mali.  Bilal is also learning about mountaineering so that he can teach our son to operate in such environments in the absence of deserts here in France.  This won't be possible full-time, as he will need to be diligent in his academic studies, but the aim is that he will be well-prepared for both lifestyles.

On the other hand, I have insisted that I and my male relatives teach him how to be a gentleman and to speak proper French.  Obviously, it is still quite early to think about our son's career, but I was thinking a commission in the French foreign legion might be a profession where both these qualities are required.  They are based in Aubagne, which is more or less on our doorstep in Marseille.

I came across an article about Memminger High School in Charleston, South Carolina, which has a "Gentleman's Club" (in my view, a very unfortunate double entendre), which teaches young inner-city boys to be gentlemen.  To me, given Charleston's position as the epitome of Deep South gentility, it seems a shame that the boys didn't pick such things up.

A quick Google search also revealed the London School of Etiquette, which does this, but in a paid formal setting.  I am not enthusiastic about sending our son to a boarding school where he would learn this, as I believe that raising children is the parents' job, but I would be delighted if our son grew up to have all the airs and graces of both suave Frenchmen and stereotypical English gentlemen in addition to Touareg ruggedness.  Nobody can say if he will grow up to be sufficiently well-suited to the military lifestyle, but I could just imagine him in a Foreign Legion officer uniform (their headquarters is in nearby Aubagne).

I am not talking Bilal down, as I recognise that he has the personality traits that really matter: - finesse is not one of them.  However, it would be a shame if our son were held back in life or weren't able to woo the woman of his dreams because Bilal passed on his ignorance of gentlemanly conduct.  Certainly, there is an abundance of French men who have a reasonable amount of finesse, but there is a deficit of French men who know how to be real men, rugged and pursue a woman properly.

Christmas in France

I recently read a BBC News Online article about Christmas in France which paid particular attention to French Christmas cuisine: - rightly so, as it is far superior to what is available in the Anglo-Saxon world.  As mentioned in a previous blog post, Provence has some unique Christmas traditions of its own.  With the advent season drawing to a close, I will explain them (also with a focus on the culinary aspects), explaining where things are different in our family because we subscribe to reformed Christianity (rather than the false doctrines of the Church of Rome): - the 1689 confession, available in English and French, amongst other languages, is one of the few good things to come out the UK.

Some reformed Christians in France are too indifferent to celebrate Christmas, given the lack of a biblical obligation to do so.  There is nothing wrong with this, as clarified by Romans 14:5.  Me personally, I think Christmas has been a great thing, given its success in supplanting the pagan feast of Mithras: - it has been so successful that few people even know what that was about today.  In any case, as reformed Christians, there are very few special days in the calendar.

Bilal has no Christmas traditions of his own, as he is a Muslim convert.  Upon his conversion to Christianity, he refused to celebrate Eid-al-Adha and Eid-al-Fitr (two Islamic festivals), which naturally caused friction, but I think his family is thankfully now resigned to the fact that he is not going to regress to Islam.

Traditionally, Provence has Le Gros Souper ("Lou Gros Soupa" in the local dialect), eaten before Midnight Mass (an Anglo-Catholic Tradition that we don't practice).  Le Réveillon is traditionally started after midnight on the night of the 24th/25th of December following Midnight Mass.  Whilst we don't have Midnight Mass, Le Gros Souper and Réveillon mirror the traditional timings with us.  Historically Church of Rome nations tend to finish their celebrations after that, with historically protestant nations (particularly Anglo-Saxon ones) having more on the 25th.  As a result, we tend to have a Christmas Day service instead of a Midnight Mass, so we plan our overnight stays so as not to be too tired for church the next morning (Christmas Day was on a Sunday this year).  This year's Réveillon and Déjeuner de Noël (Christmas Lunch) were relatively short, given the church activities on the Sunday.

Santa Claus is known as Père Noël ("Père" = "Father" and "Noël" = "Christmas") in France and children leave shoes, rather than stockings, for him.  As far as I know, nobody in our church bothers with this: - we tell our children early on what we want them to believe and what we don't, as there is enough confusion in our atheistic societies about what we should believe.  We want them to believe in God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, so we tell our children about them, but we tell our children as early as possible that Santa Claus/Père Noël is based on Nicholas of Myra (Turkey), who was a bishop (in the incorrect Church of Rome/so-called Orthodox understanding of the word) many centuries ago and not alive today.

I said I would write about culinary tradition and haven't said much so far, so I will start.

Christmas meals in France tend to observe standard customs for apéritifs and digestifs, the former supposedly being to stimulate the appetite (admittedly not always desirable for a dainty Frenchwoman such as myself) and the latter to aid digestion.  As far as I know, there is no scientific basis for either, but that misses the point: - we French have a very sophisticated consumption of alcoholic beverages.  Obviously, champagne featured heavily: - though I long for the day when Provence produces alcoholic beverages as world-renowned as those of the historical Champagne region, like any Frenchwoman, I just adore champagne.  I just remembered that I am overdue a visit to Reims: - I am tired of hearing silly Anglo-Saxon people pronouncing it "raymz" (it is pronounced "ranz").

Canapés (known as amuse-bouches if they are free in an eating establishment) feature very heavily in French parties, particularly at Christmas, though I must admit, to a dainty Frenchwoman such as myself, they often make up a full meal!  Bilal has been into strongman training for many years and therefore tends to have a meal before a party, so that he is content to just have canapés until the meal is served, but I admit, France hasn't always been progressive regarding gluten-free cookery, so he often goes without: - poor Bilal!  I try to push people to accommodate him though, so as to expand his repertoire beyond jollof rice, MDR.  Canapés generally consist of bread, pastry or a cracker.  They tend to be salty or spicy, so as to get people to buy more drinks, but in most societies, it is the custom for savoury food to be served before sweet food anyway.  Vol-au-vents (above) are a very common canapé: - there are so many different fillings that go well with them, such as cream cheese, paté, fish paste etc.

Foie gras is a common French Christmas tradition, but it is not an acceptable food for us as Bible believers.  Granted, there are at least 10 passages in the New Testament saying all foods are acceptable to eat, but the cruelty inflicted on the ducks and geese (force-feeding so their livers become 10 times their normal size) is not something I can stomach (pun intended): - Proverbs 12:10 says that a good man is kind even to his animals.  However, we are more than happy to have paté where we have reasonable confidence in the welfare of the animals (a real Frenchwoman always looks into the provenance of her food, even if she might have a "bof" attitude towards animal welfare).  Given the coastal location of Provence, we often like fish-based patés, but they can be made with so many different fish, meat, vegetables etc.

Mireille Guiliano is absolutely correct when she talks about a Frenchwoman's preference for oysters (another Christmas food).  Given that only a small part of the physical area taken up is actually meat, they are a great way for a dainty Frenchwoman to eat less than she thinks and maintain her dainty figure.  There are various ways to season oysters, but even when eaten without seasoning, their taste is absolutely divine.  I expect to be making a few more visits to cities such as Brest to enjoy the oysters when the LGV Bretagne opens later this year: - I am hoping the timetable will be set up to allow good connections via stations such as Marne la Vallée-Chessy to avoid needing to cross Paris between Gare de Lyon and Gare Montparnasse stations.

Like the Anglo-Saxon world, turkey is very common at Christmas, though the chestnut stuffing is the main difference.  Silly British people tend to use bread-based stuffing, which is not feasible with Bilal (unless made with gluten-free bread).

Christmas logs (Bûches de Noël) are common (more so than the Anglo-Saxon world): - thankfully, most people have forgotten the pagan Yule festival that this tradition ultimately comes from, though maybe I would have reservations if it stirred up an interest in pagan culture again.  Silly British people tend to have a chocolate cream covering, but in France, people are much more sophisticated than that.  French Christmas logs have much richer flavours, including orange zest and cherry confit, plus their colours are much brighter.

Putting Provence's fantastic regional dishes to one side for one moment, various other French regions have unique Christmas dishes.  All of these dishes mentioned in the article I love, admittedly not as much as those from Provence.  They are: -

• Capon (castrated rooster from Lauragais, between Toulouse and Carcassonne)
• White sausages (from Rethel in Champagne-Ardenne)
• Venison (deer meat from Sarthe, southwest of Paris)
• Sea bass (southwestern France)
• Stuffed goose (Alsace)
• Lobster (Brittany)

I admit I haven't been to Toulouse very often, since it is not particularly easily accessible by train, particularly from Marseille.  However, I have managed to try capon.  Silly Anglo-Saxon people mock us when we claim we know from the taste if the rooster was castrated early in life: - I can confirm that we can tell, MDR.

Bilal came with me on a visit to Reims a while ago and was wary of the white sausages, as he was in the UK visiting his homies in Stratford and tried local sausages (silly British people stuff sausages with bread) and fell ill.  However, I checked and double-checked on his behalf that they were gluten-free, so we had them and he really liked them.

Venison is reasonably common in the UK, but the French method of preparation is far superior to the English one.  Interestingly, it was the Normans who introduced the term, MDR!  Sea bass and lobster are not unique to France either, but the preparation is far superior to anywhere else: - in France, a chef's trade is treated as a skilled craft, unlike pretty much anywhere else.

Stuffed goose (which uses apples, chestnuts and citrus fruits) is an acquired taste as far as silly Anglo-Saxon people are concerned.  In the run-up to Christmas, some English clients visited the Paris office of my magazine.  They were what are known in Britain as remoaners (a portmanteau of "remain" and "moan"), people who can't accept that the democratic will of the British people regarding Brexit, and therefore wanted to visit the European parliament whilst they were there.  They liked to act like they were cultured and aware, but didn't realise that this is in Strasbourg, not Paris!  Duh!  We therefore stepped on a train and were in Strasbourg 1h48m later (around 540km away).  They asked to try a local dish, so I found a restaurant serving stuffed goose.  They hated it because of all the sweet flavours: - silly Anglo-Saxon people struggle to understand sweet main courses.  For dessert, we had Alsatian Kouglof, which they didn't like either, as they were expecting something super-sweet, which turned out to be only a mildly-sweet brioche, MDR!

The desserts mentioned in the article are: -

• Berawacka (Christmas fruit cake from Kayersberg, Alsace)
• Calissons (I will cover this later)
• Guinettes (sour cherries soaked in brandy and with a chocolate coating from Aquitane)
• Mendiants (I will cover this later)

Christmas cake and pudding in the UK have some similarities with Berawacka, though they are nowhere near as sophisticated (my British visitors liked these).  Guinettes are always great for a Frenchwoman looking to make a meal with an air of sophistication for very little effort (soak the cherries, then melt the chocolate in a bain-marie before dipping the cherries inside).

Onto Provençal Christmas dishes.

As mentioned, we have Les Treize Desserts, which often feature calissons, a sweet made of ground almonds and candied fruit, topped with icing.  Aix-en-Provence is famous for producing these: - you can get there via the local TGV station, but if arriving from the Paris direction, it is easier to go to Marseille and catch a TER (34 minutes) to the town centre station, particularly as some trains don't stop at Aix-en-Provence TGV.

I am not so fond of the superstition that traditionally existed with Les Treize Desserts (representing Christ and the 12 apostles), e.g. breaking the fougasse bread (1/13), rather than cutting it, so as to avoid being indebted.  Some people regard such an act of memory as being an act of religious devotion, but we regard such superstition as being badly unbiblical.

Nougat was traditionally eaten at Christmas, though less exclusively now.  Provence is famous for this, though a town famous for the production thereof (Montélimar) is just outside Provence.  Nougat is the soft variety (with eggs) and nougatine is the hard variety (without).  There are also white and black varieties: - hazelnuts, pine nuts or pistachios with white nougat and almonds and honey with the black.  Bilal loves nougat, as he likes sweet foods, but his coeliac disease limit his options (nougat being one).

Mendiants traditionally accounted for 4/13 of the desserts, the colours representing the gowns worn by the 4 separate monastic orders: dry figs (Franciscans), almonds (Carmelites), raisins (Dominicans) and hazelnuts (Augustinians).  There is a chocolate variant where one of each is put on top of a chocolate disc.  If I make them, I deliberately do numbers other than four, given our distaste for the Church of Rome.

Dates (representing Christ's eastern origins) are common and often stuffed with almond paste.  Another option for Bilal: - almond flour is a good substitute for wheat flour in cakes.  Quince paste and other fresh fruits are common, depending on local availability.

We had a very traditional Provençal Christmas, save for the exceptions mentioned.  Bilal is slowly warming up to this, given his family's traditional calendar.  Bilal wanted to celebrate Christmas more, but his parents made this difficult.  Now he is living with me, he is not subject to the same familial pressures.  He invited family members to join us: - naturally, they refused, just as we did with their Eid celebrations.  They find it difficult to accept that Bilal's new life with me and our son living away from their family home means it is harder to apply familial pressure.  In spite of all this, we had an absolutely fantastic first Christmas with our son and I look forward to many more traditional Provençal Christmases with Bilal and our children by our sides.