Brexit

Given my connections to the UK and business interests, many readers have been asking me what I think about Brexit.  If I were a smoker, what I would do is just light up another Gauloise and say, "bof", because there are plenty of reasons why it is unlikely to have an effect on me, or at the very least, not worth worrying about.

I normally view Britain with derision, but sometimes, business expediency takes over.  My mother gave up her British citizenship, but I took it out prior to moving to the UK to start my career in the fashion industry.  The requirements are spelled out at https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/483729/MN1_Guide_December_2015.pdf and there is an example that matches my case almost exactly in section 3(2).  As I had lived in Britain for just over three years, I am able to register my son as a British citizen (the paperwork is going through at present).  There are lots of things I hate about Britain (fat women, rubbish food, lack of TGVs etc), but with Brexit on the cards, I want to keep doors open for any children I have, should they need to live in the UK to start a career: - pretty much the only advantage the UK has is a vibrant jobs market compared with France.  Maybe a reversal of fortunes will have taken place when my children reach adulthood though?

That said, Brexit is unlikely to have much of an effect on me.  I expect there may be some additional admin if the UK leaves the single market: - many buyers of my magazine are English women looking to stylish French women for inspiration.  However, I am sure this will be surmountable with the right advice and legal representation.  The UK never looked set to join the Schengen zone anyway, so there is no reason to think travel arrangements will be affected, certainly with my British passport.

The narrow-minded approach of the EU and the requirement to form trade deals collectively means there may be more opportunities for me if Brexit takes place.  I am loathed to open an office in Britain, but it can be done if there is business expediency involved, tee hee!  One possible location for a London office is the vicinity of Old Street station, just two stops from St. Pancras International, as this area contains lots of silly bobo (bourgeois bohemian) trendy companies and is a magnet for silly bobo creative types.  Granted, I am creative, but I am down-to-earth as well as fashionable: - as I have repeatedly stated, though Frenchwomen follow fashion closely, their preference is still for timeless elegance over fads.  Poking fun at Zoë Williams, such an elegant and simple philosophy, it could almost be a French dessert: - la moitié, s'il vous plaît!  Anyway, jokes aside, if the UK can quickly conclude trade deals with other nations, it could make it much easier to enter new markets.

France has been famous in Europe for abusing the Common Agricultural Policy, with the end result being that British taxpayers subsidise French farmers who just don't want to modernise.  On one hand, I think there is some merit in that, given that they produce high-quality food, whose production processes cannot always be short-cutted, but on the other hand, I have to run my business efficiently like most people besides farmers and I don't enjoy much if any protection from market forces like the farmers do.  It was a nice arrangement, the British paying to subsidise our farmers so that we could eat properly for less and obviously, there will be some readjustment, but we will see how that goes.

I am aware of the political turmoil in the UK.  Jeremy Corbyn has lost the confidence of his MPs, David Cameron is resigning and I find it "bbbbbbbaffling!!!" that Nigel Farage is resigning, having won his victory at the referendum.  I am aware that Theresa May is the frontrunner at present to be David Cameron's replacement.  Not surprisingly, there is no talk about "girl power" this time around.  Some people would ask me if I think the next UK prime minister should be female in order to set an example for gender equality.  I would unequivocally say, "No!  No!  No!"

Foreseeing a likely question, Ségolène Royal and Marine Le Pen are two ladies with the opposite offerings.  Ségolène Royal is a lady with a fabulous appearance, but awful policies (socialism that has kept France in an economic quagmire for so long), Marine Le Pen is a lady who does herself a huge injustice by carrying large amounts of surplus pounds, but she has some policy ideas that may bring France out the doldrums.

All sorts of things could happen with Brexit and we will see how events transpire.

Postpartum dainty figures

Recently, Bilal and I had a discussion about the subject of childbearing.  I asked him what his views were on the subject of how many children to have.  Eventually, after several questions that were essentially identical, but done from different angles, he said he would definitely like to have a "famille nombreuse" (large family).  When I probed why, he cited Psalm 127:4 (which talks about how a large family is a blessing to a man) and his love for the Touareg culture i.e. his desire not to "westernise" and turn his back on his culture by having a smaller family.  The fertility rate for Touareg women in Mali is apparently 6.6 (admittedly using out-of-date statistics).  Also, it is plain for me to see that Bilal is very fond of small children: - he is not as reticent about initiating interactions with them as he is with non-Touareg adults.  The wife of someone he is reasonably friendly with at church gave birth to a son a few weeks ago and I regularly see Bilal cradling the baby, obviously entranced.

Bilal said that he didn't want to push this on me, given that he would not be carrying the children around for 9 months each, but said he would be overjoyed if he did have a large family.  I said that although I don't yet know first-hand what stresses pregnancy puts on a woman's body, once we are married, my plan is to offer no obstruction at all to creating a large family, even if this means no sleep and working at home for a few days each month.  Why?  Because I love him so much.  He has brought me so much happiness and if children and more children will bring him enormous joy, then that's what I plan to give him.  After all, provided we are married at the time, given that he is the most attractive man I have ever seen, why would I ever have any desire resist him?  I would also enjoy a large family myself.  Visiting people from the United Kingdom have told me that they have noticed that in France, having children makes you that much more socially acceptable.  All part of impossible French perfection I suppose.  I know I am always grumbling about taxes in France, but one thing that is great about France is how the income tax brackets favour  couples with lots of children, even if I don't like the way the tax advantages diminsh steeply after the first child.  Then there are various other advantages, including the Carte Famille Nombreuse for discounts when travelling on the trains: - I don't suggest that anyone has children for the sake of financial advantages, but I think it is great that France is doing things to incentivise people to have children.

Some people might call me an enemy of feminism because I plan to give Bilal as many children as he wants and I am always preaching about the importance of having a dainty figure.  How would I respond to such suggestions of betraying feminism?  If I were a Frenchwoman with the characteristics portrayed by Zoë Williams, I would just light up another Gauloise and say, "bof", MDR.

"But aren't you bothered about your figure any more?", Bilal asked me.  I said I didn't think it was a dichotomy.  It is quite possible for a woman to have a wonderful figure very soon after giving birth or even immediately thereafter.  I recall a photo of Catherine Zeta-Jones that appeared around the time after her wedding showing how much baby weight she had lost on account of her desire to look good in her wedding dress: - unusually for a British (in this case, Welsh) woman, she had a fabulous figure in the photo.  I have no expectation of being in this situation, because neither I nor Bilal approve of fornication, so I would argue that Catherine Zeta-Jones could have saved herself the bother of crash-dieting prior to her wedding by not committing fornication, but anyway.  That example aside, I also remember the controversy over the Norwegian WAG Caroline Berg Eriksen's postpartum selfie of her figure.  What would I say in response to this controversy?  I say you go for it girl!

If you've got a lovely figure like that so soon after giving birth, show it to everyone so that women will be willing to aim high!  Why should this woman listen to the grumblings of women who are just jealous that they don't have such a wonderful postpartum figure?  This is what I would call the "crab mentality" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality): - people become jealous at the success of others and try to "pull them back down".  Of course, such wonderful postpartum figures are the norm in France.  There is the perception that a Frenchwoman is so stupid that she doesn't know that heavy drinking and smoking during pregnancy are bad for the unborn child's health, but none of this is well-founded: - in fact, heavy drinking is characteristic of a British ladette, rather than a Frenchwoman.  A pregnant Frenchwoman eats a little bit more than usual (given the need to nourish the unborn child), but her self-discipline when it comes to dainty portions means she has absolutely no weight to lose after she gives birth.  She looks with derision on Anglo-Saxon women who view pregnancy as a time to indulge themselves and then find themselves miserable when they find they have lots of surplus weight after having given birth, possibly suffering post-natal depression as a result of their weight gain, though I admit I would find it hard to avoid post-natal depression if I gained as much weight as Anglo-Saxon women do during pregnancy!  MDR!

I recall the Little Britain character Marjorie Dawes (one of the few British people with the good sense to realise the benefits of halving portions), who commented to two of the fatties at Fat Fighters who had gotten married and were expecting a baby that their decision to have a child was somewhat selfish, given that the child would be born with an addiction to food and would therefore have to go cold turkey.  As far as I know, an addiction to food is not heritable: - after all, my English-born mother was overweight before she began to spend time in France, yet here we are, both with very dainty figures.  However, if an addiction to food were heritable, I would whole-heartedly agree with Ms. Dawes' assertion that they were selfish.

In conclusion, I have absolutely no apprehension about what pregnancy will do to my impossibly dainty French figure.  I am not doing to do a Scarlett O'Hara and refuse to have any more children on account of such fears, knowing that continuing to eat dainty portions, rather than birth control, will preserve my impossibly perfect and dainty French figure.

A BBC attack on French women's effortless perfection

About a week ago, I came across a BBC article expressing disapproval of French women's perfection.  In it, the BBC journalist named Joanna Robertson attacked the supposed tyranny of the French culture pushing women to be thin.  In the article, she proved that she doesn't care much for consistency either.  Towards the beginning of the article, she wrote: -
"Pharmacies are filled with miracle-claiming diet products and women's magazines run endless columns of slimming advice."
Then later on, she wrote something far closer to the truth, which read: -
"There is an idea put about in what the French call the "Anglo-Saxon" press that French women do not grow fat.  
They simply follow a set of mystic rules, handed down from mother to daughter, that govern their personal grooming, comportment and, most of all, their eating habits.  
A sensible, balanced diet. Plenty of fresh produce. Three meals a day. Absolutely no snacking. Regular, reasonable exercise. Nothing to excess."
It is an almost direct contradiction, though I broadly feel unable to disagree with the points raised in the second quotation.  The major point I disagree with is the word "mystic".  There is nothing mysterious about how we are impossibly thin.  It is the fact that we are impossibly perfect.  We have absolutely delicious food that means we feel satisfied by the taste, rather than the feeling of our bellies being stretched (as is the case with unsophisticated Anglo-Saxon women).  Joanna Robertson is entirely right when she says that obesity is frowned upon in France.

I note one point that appeared towards the end, which read: -
""It is an absolute tyranny," says Marjorie, a 49-year-old business executive, herself pencil slim.
"The tyranny of the silhouette, we call it - but it is also a kind of dream because it represents total success.
"It is not like in the UK where TV shows have women of all shapes and sizes doing all kinds of things. I love that - chubby 55-year-olds kissing men full on the mouth. You would never see that here," she adds.
Marjorie works near the Paris suburb of Saint Denis where there is a large immigrant population from the Maghreb.
She is inspired by these women with their full, rounded, curvaceous figures and the way they walk tall.
"They are so much more feminine than our Parisian chic," she says, "but the sad truth is that if they want careers in this society they are going to have to get skinny to get ahead.""
Fat and feminine!  These two terms are almost mutually exclusive.  I view it as severely unfeminine to be fat.  I have seen such scenes on British television with obese 55-year-olds kissing men on the mouth and it made me feel physically sick, but anyway.  In pre-industrialised society, men needed to marry a woman with strong arms, because he knew he would need someone who was capable of doing large amounts of physical work on the farm.  Proverbs 31:17 reads, "She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms."  The English NIV renders this as, "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks."  However, in an industrialised society, there is no longer a need for women to be heavily built.  This does not mean we work any less hard.  Today's women work just as hard, even if the work isn't always physical.  However, as Joanna Robertson seems to be close to admitting, but doesn't want to, thin is beautiful.  This is unfortunately a fact that she correctly indicates has not yet occurred to "Maghreb" women living in France.  Bilal told me that he never liked the sight of women from his culture having "full, rounded, curvaceous figures".  He has told me that he always thought it looked horrible.  Granted, Bilal comes from Mali, which is outside the zone traditionally known as the Maghreb, but that is a minor detail.

Bilal has told me that one of the reasons he enjoyed being able to take the bus and get out of La Savine for a few hours at a time on Saturdays and weekday evenings (of course, on Sundays, his reason was coming to church) was because it was so refreshing to him to see lovely, thin French women, rather than the "full, rounded, curvaceous figures" *cough* of the immigrant women he came across in La Savine.  Granted, this was a minor reason: - a much bigger reason was that he found it hard work steeling himself against all the hip-hop gangland culture he witnessed in La Savine.

This was the main reason, but for him, seeing chic and elegant French women was a bonus for him.  As he has reminded me, such women no longer interest him, as I have agreed to be courted by him.  He has been entranced with my beauty for a long time, hence why he was willing to wait several years to receive my father's approval to court me.  Why wouldn't he be?  I'm the impossibly dainty French woman!  As Joanna Robertson points out, we French (rightly) regard being skinny as a sign of success.  Bilal has rightly recognised that there is more to me than my physical beauty and has correctly said that my physical beauty is only the tip of the iceberg.  However, he says he just finds the sight of fat Arab women using a veil to hide their ""full, rounded, curvaceous figures" disgusting.

Why can't the rest of the world appreciate the beauty that we French women possess with our effortlessly dainty figures?  It is not true to say that we have these because we smoke, because we use magic, because we pop pills or anything like that.  It is ultimately down to the power of a simple, but very powerful phrase: - "La moitié, s'il vous plaît" ("half of that, please").  It means we enjoy the pleasure of good food, but we only eat dainty portions thereof.  We don't have fat diets, we do eat things besides cabbage soup at mealtimes and we don't starve ourselves!  When someone offers us some food, we just say, "La moitié, s'il vous plaît": - if that means we have to only put half as much on our forks to allow us to keep pace with the other participants at the meal, then that is exactly what we do.  We cut the food into dainty pieces, put these dainty pieces into our mouths and savour the immense pleasure of eat bite, so that we don't need to consume huge quantities to feel full.

So there you have it.  The secret of my success.  Women around the world should say at least a hundred times a day the phrase behind my success: - "La moitié, s'il vous plaît".

Readership

I have been closely watching the readership of this blog.  From what I have seen, readership is concentrated in a fairly small group of nations.

Not surprisingly, in first place is the USA, with 53.6% of pageviews coming from there.  Obviously, American women (who I assume have previously been stuffing their faces full of food) are keen to know about the immense wisdom that we effortlessly perfect French women possess.

Also, not surprisingly, the UK, my mother's homeland, comes in second place, with 26.6% of pageviews.  Apart from the fact that this blog is written in English, it is clear that Anglo-Saxon women are starting to recognise how effortlessly perfect we Frenchwomen are, hence why they are reading this blog.

In third place is Russia, with 9.2% of pageviews.  Maybe it is the population there?  I don't associate Russia with immense obesity, but then it is not a country I know well.

A surprising country is in fourth place.  One of France's former colonies: - Vietnam, with 4.0% of the vote.  In the CIA's 2008 statistics, France is shown in 108th place with 18.2% of its population being obese, with Vietnam appearing in 186th place (6th from the bottom of the table) with 1.7% of its population being obese.  Vietnam has been through a very unpleasant war, but it is fast becoming a prosperous nation and I'm not credulous that this statistic is the result of people starving.  Vietnamese women, I salute you!  You are among the few people who we Frenchwomen can learn from!  I am keen to hear how you guys remain so thin!  If any Vietnamese people are reading this post, please get in touch.  My e-mail address is mariannegaboriault@gmail.com .

The remaining countries in the list are the Netherlands, Germany, France, Ukraine, Canada and Poland.  I am surprised there aren't that many viewers in Canada (0.7%), but I'm not surprised that France's percentage is only 1.3%, because after all, we Frenchwomen are effortlessly perfect already and my blog is just teaching Frenchwomen to suck eggs.  A Frenchwoman knows very well that eating less is the best strategy for losing weight.

Indeed, I'm keen to hear from anyone who has any comments on my blog posts, be they positive, negative or indifferent, though I do fill with pride when I receive e-mails from people telling me that they lost loads of weight and became effortlessly perfect as a result of slavishly replicating the example of dainty Frenchwomen such as myself.  MDR!  Again, my e-mail address is mariannegaboriault@gmail.com and I'm interested to hear from all viewers of my blog, whatever their opinion.  Given that I am running my fashion magazine during the day and hunting the markets for obscure and high-quality ingredients and cooking in the evenings, I cannot guarantee that I will get back to you immediately or that I will respond to every single e-mail, but rest assured that I am interested in what you have to say, even if I might be virulently opposed to some points made.  So go ahead, I look forward to hearing from you.

Quasi-indefinite delays with high-speed lines

Lately, I was disturbed to hear about how our useless president François Hollande has messed up the economy and therefore made the decision to delay more or less indefinitely (construction not starting until beyond 2030, apparently) the construction of various high-speed lines.

The main ones affected are the new line to Lyon via Orléans and the two gaps leading to the Spanish border.  When the Nîmes-Montpellier bypass and the Tours-Bordeaux lines have been completed, there will still be gaps between Bordeaux and the Atlantic Spanish border (Hendaye and Irún) and Montpellier and Perpignan (there is already an international mixed high-speed/freight line that starts just after Perpignan).

I liked Nicolas Sarkozy, as he was committed to encouraging enterprise, reducing burdensome regulations on employers and reducing taxes for successful people like me (ooooh, how American I sound, lol).  He also celebrated success and isn't trying to puncture people's dreams.  As icing on the cake, he set in motion plans for a massive increase in the rate at which high-speed railway lines are built in France: - I particularly remember that under him, the design studies for the Montpellier-Perpignan connection were accelerated.

To be fair on François Hollande, the Bordeaux-Toulouse high-speed connection has been retained, but this is of little use to me personally unless I happen to be travelling there from Paris, rather than Marseille.

As for me personally, it seems a shame for SNCF to sign contracts for rolling stock that is easily able to run at 320km/h in service and for our president to then mess up the economy and delay the construction of high-speed lines as a result.

I enjoy visiting Barcelona, as it is a stylish city and a lot of the fashion stuff in Spain seems to happen there.  Spain is reasonable (though not effortlessly perfect) generally.  The CIA estimates its obesity rate to be 26.6%, which I am surprised about: - although Spanish señoritas are not as effortlessly thin as we French women, they are certainly much less obese than American and British women.

From rumours I have read, RENFE (the Spanish operator) is planning to offer Marseille-Barcelona-Madrid services sometime soon, though there have apparently been homologation issues.  I must point out that the Spanish are planning to run their international services using rolling stock supplied by Alstom (a French company, yay!), the S100, which they originally ordered for the first high-speed line they opened (this was the Madrid-Seville line in 1992).

Even when these planned services are introduced, apart from the Nîmes-Montpellier bypass currently under construction, there will still be a huge gap in the high-speed network between Montpellier and Perpignan.  I love being able to zip to lovely cities and see the countryside along the way, but I like my train journeys to be short and sharp, as time I spend on the train is time I could otherwise be spending in the market hunting for the choicest ingredients, visiting swish new restaurants for new recipe ideas or soaking up the fashion scene of whatever city I am in at the time.  As self-important upstart Americans would say, time is money!  Being an efficient French woman, a lot of my time on the trains is spent performing editorial duties on my fashion magazine: - drafts are sent to me by PDF or OpenOffice format (why should I pay to use Microsoft Office if I can get OpenOffice for free?) and I tend to plan things so that I can do editing work during the train journey.  Even so, I am disappointed in our pinko-liberal commie-socialist 75%-tax president!

I am also disappointed because I visit Perpignan regularly and love the Mediterranean atmosphere of the city and I will have to wait a lot longer to enjoy super-fast journeys all the way.

Before closing this blog entry, I thought I would be unpatriotic and mention a few things to do with railways that are done better in Spain, MDR.  Spain has the longest high-speed railway network in the whole of Europe at present and would have briefly had the longest high-speed network in the world if it weren't for delays in opening the line from Madrid to Albacete and Valencia.  I also love the way Club class on Spanish AVE services involves relatively elaborate meals compared to first class on France's TGV services: - I recall a meal with lots of dinky little breakfast items and a dinky little bottle of high-quality olive oil (though not as high as the Provence stuff).

All in all, Spain is nowhere near as impossibly perfect as France, but I am nevertheless disappointed by these delays, which I believe are the inevitable economic reality of our idiotic president's mismanagement of the economy.

Misperceptions about French women being chainsmokers

One thing that bothers me considerably about the perceptions English and American people have of we French women is that we are only slim because we smoke like chimneys, mentioning that tobacco causes appetite-suppressing effects.  This is nonsense.  There are various reasons why a French woman is able to feel full on very little food.   Firstly, her taste buds are able to discern the finest flavours and, if she follows this up by eating them, she gets her jollies primarily from the taste, rather than her stomach being stretched (as is the case with gluttonous American and British women), causing her to feel full.  Secondly, France contains only the finest ingredients and recipes, combined with innately capable chefs, making this possible.  I must point out that smoking is most unattractive to my way of thinking.

I recall Zoë Williams' article that I discussed in an earlier posting, where she said words to the effect that rather than rant like she was doing, a Frenchwoman would light up another fag and say, "bof".  According to data at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevalence_of_tobacco_consumption , the smoking rates in the USA are 26.3% and 21.5%, in the UK, they are 36.7% and 34.7% and 36.6% and 26.7% in France for men and women respectively.  Granted, American data seems to be significantly lower, though it appears the smoking rates for British women are higher than for French women.  

However, there is a huge difference in the obesity rate in France, according to the CIA's statistics at https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2228rank.html , which says that the USA's figure is 33%, the UK's figure is 26.9% and France's figure is a paltry 18.2%!  Now, one could argue that there are lies, damned lies and statistics, but the suggestion that French women are only slim because they smoke so much is untrue: - firstly, it is not backed up by data and secondly, it is just an excuse for gluttonous American and British women to gorge themselves on gigantic quantities of food endlessly and avoid taking responsibility for being disgustingly obese.

I have some advice for such people: - slavishly replicate the French way of life so you can be effortlessly perfect like Frenchwomen.  I have often mentioned my English mother.  She openly admits that she was disgustingly overweight in her teenage years because she ate gigantic quantities of low quality food.  She went on family holidays to France, though she didn't lose any weight then because she was still in her substandard English eating habits.  However, she went to France on a week-long exchange visit with her secondary school during Year 10 (the year one attends in Britain when one is 14/15 years old).  Though a week is not long enough to burn off huge quantities of flab, she lost a notable amount of weight in that week alone.  She enjoyed that week so much that she asked if her exchange family would allow her to stay over her school's summer holidays: - her host family was immediately enthusiastic, as it greatly enjoyed her company.  Her parents were initially reluctant, but she pestered them endlessly to agree to this until they caved in.  She then spent her summer holidays in France and when she returned home, her father said, "You look like you're suffering from anorexia or bulimia!"  

Silly Grandad!  He didn't know that my mother's stay in France was the making of her as an effortlessly perfect Frenchwoman.  When my mother was back in England, she was constantly lecturing her family members about how to cook properly and they grew grumpy, because hey, the truth hurts!  Her French teacher was very pleased with her greatly improved performance though and scored the top grade in O-level French, going on to study French as part of her A-levels, again scoring the top grade.  By the time she was halfway through her A-levels, she decided she was fed up of backward British attitudes and the general lack of sophistication, so she applied to French universities.  The day she received her A-level results was the happiest day of her life, as her grades were more than good enough to get into her choice of university (in Marseille) and she was able to kiss goodbye to her unsophisticated homeland.  She occasionally returned for important family events, such as weddings, funerals etc, but after departing for Marseille, she never returned to Britain for any length of time.

In other words, it is quite possible to be impossibly thin and perfect like a Frenchwoman: - my mother is testament to the fact that being impossibly perfect is possible.  As mentioned in an earlier posting, she only eats the daintiest quantities of the highest quality of food and she will not take the lift or escalator unless her destination is at least 10 floors away.  Also, she gains huge pleasure from eating dark chocolate and finds chocolate with less than 60% cocoa repulsive.  She knows French cheeses inside out and can identify pretty much every French wine by its taste alone.  She does everything in Mireille Guiliano's French Women's Manifesto.  And she doesn't smoke.

To all the American and British women reading this posting, stop using the nonsensical idea that French women smoke all the time as an excuse for not accepting responsibility for your weight and be effortlessly perfect like we Frenchwomen!